The Law of Reciprocity

I'll Scratch your back and you can scratch mine!

Reciprocation is one of the most powerful forces in our society. Put simply reciprocation is a bit of the old give and take or I’ll scratch your back and at some point you can scratch mine.

In our society there is often a dislike for those people who take without giving something back in return. Because of this, when we receive a gift from someone there is an immense social pressure to repay the offer in some shape or form.

I remember reading a wonderful example of the law of reciprocity in action.

During the First World War a German soldier had the job of capturing enemy soldiers for interrogation. As you will probably know this war was fought predominantly in trenches and, because of this, it was virtually impossible for a team of soldiers to cross no mans land into an opposing trench.

It was, however, far easier for a single soldier to crawl across and slip into an enemy trench unnoticed.

This German soldier in question had a particular skill in being able to infiltrate enemy trenches and bring back opposing soldiers for interrogation.

Having been successful on several occasions he was once again ordered to do the same.

Again, the soldier managed to negotiate his way across no mans land, slip into the trench unnoticed and surprise an enemy soldier. He managed to easily disarm the unsuspecting soldier and began to prepare him to go across no mans land.

In a desperate attempt to save his own life, the captured soldier gave the German a piece of bread that he was eating at the time of being captured. So affected was the German by this unexpected gift that he was unable to complete his mission.

This illustrates two very important points when it comes to reciprocation.

First of all, if you give a little to people first before asking for something in return they will not just be more willing they will actually feel compelled to comply with your wishes.

Secondly, if you give them something when they are not expecting it, the pressure to reciprocate increases. By utilizing the art of surprise in this way, people enjoy and appreciate your gift more and therefore feel a greater desire to give something back.

The Law of reciprocity is in effect in most areas of modern culture and it works in a way that is generally unconcious to the human brain. Think about the last time someone bought you a drink! Did you feel a pressure to buy them one in return? You would have to be a bit of a cold fish not to!

Have a think right now how you can use the law of reciprocity ethically in your own personal and professional lives to increase your level of results.

If you would like to find out more about the dynamics of influence why not come along to our NLP Introductory Course in Glasgow

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