The Top 3 tips for Influential Communication

You Cannot Not Communicate...

Lets face it, if we were to be honest with ourselves we would have to admit that we live in a results oriented society. Because of this our ability to influence others and communicate ideas to people is central to the amount of success we achieve in life. Thankfully, irrespective of our own personal situation, we can learn to become more powerful and influential communicators. As you embrace the following 3 steps you will begin to find yourself quickly and easily achieving just that.

Step 1. Know your communication outcome
A wise man once said: "You can't hit a target you can't see!" This is also true when it comes to our communication. Whether you are communicating with a client, your boss, a work colleague or even a complete stranger, in order to interact successfully you must know your outcome. Do you want the person to take action, buy your product or do you just want to connect and have fun? When you are deciding your outcome, start off by asking the question: "How do I want the person to feel and act after my interaction?" Then have a think how you can structure your communication to achieve your desired result.

It is vitally important to have an idea of how you would like the person to feel in order to act in the way you would like them to. This is because, as human beings, we rarely do anything until we feel a particular way. So ask yourself, 'What emotion would they have to feel in order to act in the desired way? Excited, happy, concerned, motivated, curious or something else?'

Step 2. Gain rapport
A few years ago (more than a few actually!) I was on a package holiday in Majorca with my friends. It was 3am, we had been travelling for about 6 hours and we were completely exhausted. We were greeted in the hotel lobby by an insanely enthusiastic holiday rep, determined to lift our mood. He immediately started talking to us in a loud, energetic manner, frantically waving his hands in an attempt to raise our depleted energy levels. Of course, he failed miserably. His mistake? He didn't gain rapport before attempting to influence us! So how do we gain rapport with someone? You can do this through a process called matching and mirroring.

Start by observing the way they move, the rate at which they speak and breathe, their tonality and their overall energy levels. Then begin to adopt or match some of these mannerisms in your own behaviour. By entering a person's world like this they will begin to feel more comfortable with you and become more open to your ideas.

Step 3. Use the push and the pull method
As human beings we are motivated by two things. To move away from pain and to move towards pleasure. I've heard people say "You can't motivate by fear!" Well, I remember being chased by a dog when I was 13 and I felt pretty motivated to run as fast as I could! The only problem was I didn't really have any direction. This is also true when we attempt to motivate someone by giving them a hard time.

They may be motivated to move away from the pain you have just delivered but they do not have much of a direction to head in. Because of this, to effectively motivate a person, we must use both the push and the pull. First of all let them know the consequences they will experience if they don't change. In other words, all the negative things that will happen if they stay the same.

Then begin to tell them about all the positive benefits they will experience when they have changed or are acting in the way you would like them to act.

The author of this article is Steven Burns, lead NLP Trainer for NLP Training Scotland.

If you would like to find out more about how to become a more influential communicator, why not take a look at our NLP Practitioner Training in Scotland.

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